Vanilla Extract

(Names edited for privacy)
My friends from back home seem to think my life is full of excitement… but to be honest it’s long boring periods punctuated by very short periods of ridiculousness. I end up with plenty of entertaining stories to tell, but my life is 99% plain vanilla. I’m jealous of people who live fast all the time. I’ve never been able to do it.
Here is one said instance of ridiculous behavior. My friend Stephanie threw a party for a few close friends. I personally ended up naked on a couch outside the room’s window… on the open balcony of the dorm.

Aditya told me about your dad visiting your room. He didn’t finish his story though. What happened?”Stephanie
May 19 at 3:35pm
Oh man… it was a nightmare, Mason.Picture the remnants of the room the night before completely without any type of cleaning whatsoever. All the liquor was still on the “bar” area and the carpet all around was full of blotchy beer/liquor spills. In the bathroom someone had dropped the box full of long neck glass beer bottles, which had shattered all over and the beer and the ice that had filled the box and the bags surrounding the beer formed a 2 inch coating of the floor.The whole suite smelled like booze.

Then there were clothes that people had left…

…. the broken futon …

… MORE liquor bottles….

… the smell of several people vomiting…

…. open bottles of lotion…

After you passed out I realized that everyone else had all popped some ecstasy and so were stripping their clothes and they were taking off our clothes and they raided my lotion stores and everyone was grinding (by this time Aditya and I were the only others remaining besides you passed out…. but we were SO DRUNK) and massaging lotion everywhere and the next thing I remember is arguing with Aditya and looking at the time at finding that it was 5am or some ridiculous time like that…

And everyone was in and out of the room and I just crawled on the bed saying everyone could stay but I was going to sleep and Aditya wanted to shoo everyone out but I told him to leave the door open (I guess I wanted them to retrieve forgotten posessions?? who knows…) and we argued with each other until passing out…

… until 10:30AM when I hear a knock on the door, which I answer… scantily clad and WEARING it HARD from last night, only to find my FATHER…

I rush Aditya out and throw ALL the liquor bottles into ANOTHER box and put it in the bathroom stall on the other side of the suite (where it remains)…

but dad figured it out. All of it. I refused to lie and I was in such deep shit. He had a 30 minute “man to man” talk with dAditya and several talks with me and it wasn’t pretty but he understood that it was pretty much just juvenile irresponsibility and us getting totally carried away… not the blatant disrespect that he thought it was.




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